We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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