Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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