yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
