It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
