What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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