The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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