Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
His hands were made for my vagina.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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