I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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