Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize