He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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