i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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