the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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