he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
This is classic penis vs brain.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
