she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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