Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
