She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
she smelled like a LAN party
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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