I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
