It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm too high and old for this...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
