Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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