just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
