i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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