We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
