She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
