so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
