Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize