Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
