You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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