Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
