I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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