when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My hand turned me down
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
