Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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