If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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