well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize