new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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