they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
