do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
