Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
