this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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