I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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