Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
