she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
