Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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