I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
