office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize