why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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