he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm bleeding and have questions
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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