Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
