you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
