dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
