Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he fucked my hip out of place.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
