I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
