She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
