I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
