We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
50% drunk capacity currently
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize