So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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