Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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