I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
