Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
