Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
