So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
